Dear Rabbit,
I see you. I see you following me. I see the way you cross the borders of my vision and my imagination. I see the way you jump from house to house within seconds, peering through windows, hanging from doors. I see you hop through my peripheral vision, stake yourself in lawns, swing yourself from banners. I see your face, your ridiculous face, now cartoonish, now realistic, white or brown.
This is a bona fide account of something that actually happened, written for your education.
For most human beings, at least, spring is a time of remembrance. You remember warmer weather. You remember the flowers you’d forgotten you’d had. You remember the way rain feels and sounds and you remember the pair of shorts tucked away in your closet for the past four months. But you forget a lot, too. Some of the things you forget about, like hot chocolate, is taken personally. Very personally.
February 14th
Best day ever! After sitting in a store for so long, I’m finally going home. I don’t know what or where home is, but I’m going. That’s so exciting. A man came and paid for me (paid for me–so outrageous) and now we’re going home.
Hello. My name is Assorted Floral Arrangement. It says so on my tag. I come in a little red vase with a little red box of chocolates. I’ve got roses, carnations, and different kinds of leaves. And, if I hadn’t mentioned it before, my name is Assorted Floral Arrangement. And I’m going home!
Once there was a little tomato which was just starting to grow. It looked like a fat green pebble which hung happily from the tomato plant, bathing in the rain and enjoying the sun.
I opened the door into the office. A window on the far wall. There was a desk and a secretary with a machine at the desk. A book was propped up in front of her, which she was reading as she filed her nails on a long, angular object. I stood in front of the desk for a while. “Yes?” she asked finally.
“I’m here to sign out.”
The three weeks wore on. I didn’t always have fun. It was my vacation, after all. I had worked to earn my vacation, back on Earth. I was supposed to be having fun, not wasting my time teaching alien kids. Why was I here? It was my vacation! But at times I halfway enjoyed it, which was odd because I never really had an interest in children, alien or human. But the kids were cute, the concepts were easy, and I spent the rest of the day reading, or swimming in the indoor pool adjacent to the large building, or walking the halls, peeking into the windows at other classes. Once I saw another class, older then mine, with a frizzy-haired woman in the front reading aloud from a book. “X plus five equals eight,” she read.
I opened a door into the classroom. There was one room for every age group and, unfortunately, I was supposed to be teaching the youngest age group. Just letters and numbers, the lead Intercepter told me. I was grateful they could speak English. Even at this early point in their life they were the same height as me, pea-green faces with large round eyes peeping at me through their brown clothing. They sat at desks in rows. If I had replaced the green creatures with slouching humans, with little imagination I could imagine the classroom like one in Earth.
I stepped back against the dark space and felt a wall. It was cold and unyielding. There was a vibration, like I was moving, only I didn’t know where and that bothered me. After a few seconds doors opened like in an elevator and too-dark turned to too-bright. When my eyes adjusted, I was staring into a ring of creatures I had never seen before.
I stepped out of my space vehicle. Planet Ilta! After three weeks of flight I had made it outside the Milky way. Looking towards the horizon, I noticed an object floating in the sky. It seemed too far away to see, but my Helpfulnesses, whom I had enlisted to help me on my vacation, were still getting things set up. I might as well check it out and take a walk. As I walked towards the object, the ground gave way under my feet, as if it were on springs. I had not imagined Ilta to be like this and it was hard to keep my balance. I jumped, tentatively, then in bigger bounds. It was far easier then walking. I hopped around, feeling the air. It was cool but not uncomfortable. I held out my arms and tried to get used to the environment. The ground was bright purple, so intensely colored that it seemed to radiate color. There were no hills, but flat purple ground stretching out as far as I could see to meet a neon yellow sky. It hurt to look at such a bright color, so I kept my gaze down. And there were the strange objects, which I noticed as I walked, always floating and bobbing in the air. They were like round things with wings. Some smaller ones were flying and buzzing around my head, and I ducked as one passed right over me. “Sorry!” a voice said.
The final installment of this thrilling adventure of Maple the gray squirrel!
“Goodness, child, you know I don’t eat nuts,” Shelby exclaimed as I presented my gift.
I realized my mistake. “Well–they’ll look pretty anyways. That’s what they’re for, actually. Display nuts.”
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